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Doing so would mean not considering you and your situation. So instead I attempt to get through the day as best I can. I muddle through. I struggle to maintain my composure each and every minute of my day. A day that drags on and on and gets harder and harder to get through. Each day I wonder. Each day I tell myself. I tell myself that this it is for the best. That it can’t be any other way. It has to be this way and this way only. I try to explain it to myself. I try to understand it. I try to make peace with it. I try to convince my heart that the ache, the pain, the emptiness will go away. That there will be a ‘someone’ for me, a ‘someday’ for me. That there is the possibility, however remote, of a new beginning, a new start for my failed life. Each day I try. Each day I hope. I hope you are well. I hope you are OK. I hope that I am at least a passing thought in your day to day life now. I hope you remember the things we talked about. I hope that someday we can still be friends.. We were so far apart in age that we never got very close, but we always got along fine before I went off to college. During junior high, while I watched Phyllis enjoying her new infant, I had some desire to track down my birth mother, but then I remembered that she’d already made her choice, and that I was probably much better off growing up as I had than if I’d been in her dubious custody. Life went on as normal is it does for any reasonably well-adjusted teenager, and I dabbled in girls. By age seventeen I finally got laid, albeit with one of the second-tier hotties at school. But she was enough of a hottie for me, and we dated for a few weeks before we got it on, and then shagged like rabbits for six months, before a fiery breakup. I hit it once or twice after that before college. When I arrived at college, I spent the first two years concentrating on school and the last two concentrating on chicks. I came out with a B in each: not awful, not the best. After graduation, me and.
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