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Even when things got hard, even on days when I wanted to call it quits and go back to my old life, gravity pulled us back together, and I’d somehow end up in his strong arms, and we’d wipe away each other’s tears and laugh about it later, pretending that our hearts weren’t brittle because we cared just way too fucking much. I was weak—weak in the knees, weak in the words, weak in the heart. When it came to Wes, I kept coming up short. I was never enough. I kept trying and trying because I wanted him to be happy, wanted to see his effortless grin, his eyes crinkle at the corners as he laughed, wanted him the way he was meant to be: happy ... but I wasn’t good enough.I was a strong woman. I should have been able to give him the world, and in many ways, I could. I made over twice what Wes did, and financially, we probably would never need to worry. I could pay off his loans with the money that sat in my bank collecting dust, could’ve eased his financial burdens. I could have bought him. I kick my quilt down the bed so that he needs to come over to the bed. I decide that the nightdress I have on is too long and get out of bed choosing a shorter one. I get back into bed waiting for Ben; I wait and wait but he doesn’t come and eventually I curl up and drift off into sleep.I started dreaming about Ben sitting on the edge of my bed touching me, running his hand up my legs caressing my ass. It felt so good; it felt so real. My nightie was up around my waist and as I rolled over on to my back I opened my eyes. I wasn’t dreaming, Ben was really there. Ben looked at me and when he saw I was awake he pulled his hand away as though he had just been electrocuted. Almost in the same movement he stood up and stepped back. “Sorry Nats; I was just trying to pull your nightie down” he stammered. “I should go” “No! Don’t go, stay” I pleaded “I love your touch, do it again” “But you are my little sis, I shouldn’t be doing this” “Please come back” I pleaded again. I grabbed the hem of.
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