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This wasn?t something I couldjust agree to. I needed to think. Perhaps there were other ways I couldclear my writers block? Other writers did it without resorting to magic!I found myself sitting on a bench in the park, not far from my apartment.Looking out over the park often helped me clear my mind.I watched a couple of women pass by. I?m not ashamed to admit I?d usuallylook at them in the way most guys would. But now I found myself thinkingabout what it must be like to be them. A blonde jogging in tight runninggear, showing off every curve of her body. Even going for a simple runmeant being looked at by men and I had no doubt she knew that. A brunettein a business suit. Wearing heels to give herself more presence in themeeting rooms where men would still probably talk over her ideas ordismiss her.Could I really become one of them? Davis had explained it wouldn?t beforever. He could reverse the change once I?d finished the next 2 books.All I?d have to do is give him permission to. I was here to do my best to put finished to our relationship.Christ! What a mockery to lose her again, this time to death. It was almost more than I could bear. We were both cheated out of so much.Charlie, her husband, sat in the front pew masking his non-grief well. He looked almost bored with the whole proceeding. Beside him sat a young woman who could only be Sarah's daughter. I saw nothing of Charlie in her, nothing at all. She looked so much like her mother did on that day we said our goodbyes.I was numb inside as I sat and continued to stare at the young woman through the rest of the droning service. After the last amen sounded, I got up to leave. It was hard to breath, as the final chords of the last hymn came to a close.I walked back outside and blinked my eyes and waited for them to become adjusted to the bright sunlight. It seemed so wrong, so terribly wrong that the sun would shine that bright and for the birds to sing so sweet and happy on this day that held so much.
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