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As I grew older, I played only with girls, loved only girly games, spent all my time with girls. The bullying started when I was about eight. The name calling, the thumps and blows. I endured a few years of that, simply not understanding why it was happening. Despite this, I went on playing with the girls. Hopskotch, wall flowers (a singing game with very girly dance movements). But the bullying increased in intensity and I saw the only way out as trying to conform to male gender conditioning. At grammar school, with no girls to play with, I decided to butch up. The bullying stopped. I played rugby and hated it but saw it as a way of conforming. At 12 I began to masturbate but always to the idea of dominant males. I began to believe that the only way they would even consider me as a sexual partner would be if I appeared to be female. So I started to wear my mother's clothes and soon began to love girdles and suspender belts and stockings. Best of all was her wedding dress...I saw. He was laying back on the sofa, one hand still in his panties, the fingers of his other hand in his mouth."You're finished Mona," she said, using his real name for the last time. He stopped sucking his fingers for a moment and looked at her. There was just the slightest shock of recognition in his green eyes. And then it died without a protest. From here on out Michael was no longer. There was only Mona.********************************************Ten months later they were all having lunch together at a small outdoor caf? in uptown Manhattan. During that time, as the divorce proceedings were underway, Kathleen had managed to establish a friendship with Michael's soon-to-be-ex-wife. It wasn't easy and it took some convincing, but eventually Christine came to realize that Kathleen really wasn't the enemy and that she hadn't stolen Michael away from her. Her husband had, apparently, been harboring some very powerful and deeply felt sexual needs that Christine hadn't supported, nor, if.
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