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The kids always called it Sand of the Stable and it was her annual gift from both of them as they grew up. A distant part of me noted it was the first time I'd thought of Ginny and didn't want to cry. Oh precious Lord, I miss her so, she made life fun!I don't want to sound metaphysical, I don't believe in ghosts, but at that instant, I felt a warmth flush my chest. As if my lungs had been bathed in warm water. If it had continued much longer I might have worried about a heart attack, but it lasted only a few seconds and it was gone. I will always believe that it was Ginny's spirit saying she loved me too. It left me at peace. It also left me resolved and terribly fatigued. I was motivated to begin the process of disposing of her things; it had been too long, but not tonight. Tonight I wanted to savor memories and cherish what we had built together.When I finally went to bed, I must have been asleep before my head hit the pillow and awoke feeling more rested than I could remember. I didn't really know why, but it just felt like the right thing to do. She accepted that too.Then there was my father. I never called him dad, I hated him. My mom told me he has always been a bit aggressive and on top of that he hated gay people and transgender people. He thought they were a freak of nature that had no place in society. They had to be cast out. Now at the time I didn't know if I was gay or not. Dressing up as a girl didn't automatically mean you were gay, but I was a transgender and that was enough. When he found out he was furious. He hit me, he hit my mother, called us names and started drinking. Now him being mad is one thing, but him being drunk was something else entirely... and he was drunk a lot. He would go on a rampage. He would break things in the house, he would throw things at me and he would break me down. Every day was the same, hands, fists, books everything he could hit me with he did. He said I was worthless, a freak, that I deserved to die. He made.
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