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He seemed nice enough but she wasn’t very attracted to him. Ian turned instinctively when the shop door opened then looked anxiously at Melissa’s face, reading her body language, certain he was about to here the now infamous ‘You sound like a really nice guy but you’re not my type’ speech. Indeed that was her intended reply, but unbeknownst to Ian the man who had just walked in was Mike. Melissa was torn – on the one hand she was reluctant to accept a date from a complete stranger but on the other she thought it might finally get the message across to Mike. Clearly within Mike’s earshot, Melissa answered Ian’s question. ‘Yes I’d love to go out with you tonight,’ she replied, getting a pen and a piece of paper. ‘Here’s my phone number. I leave work at five so give me a call around six to arrange a time to meet.’ Ian ran out the door, desperate to find a quiet space in which he could explode and voice his amazed pleasure that a girl had finally said that wonderful three letter word –. #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.This is compliments of PepereOld one, but still good for a laugh.ALTAR BOY’S CONFESSION ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.’The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little.
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