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As she pressed her thumbs into my flesh, I could feel the tender skin of my anus rolling out and spreading, sending just a tiny hint of tepid pain up my spine. My fingers and toes responded by curling tightly. But, after a few seconds, her thumbs followed her hands up my back to my shoulders, and I felt her leaning across me. Gayle pulled the hair from one side of my face and brought hers closer."You have really nice legs," she whispered, as I felt her warm breath swath across my ear.I smiled and whispered thanks in reply, and then she planted a gentle kiss against my ear, leaving a trail of them down my neck.She sat for what seemed a very long time on my lower back, straddling my body, and working her fingers on my shoulders and upper back. But, all too soon, she stopped and rolled off me, patting my butt."Ready for the other side?" she asked.I lay there motionless for a moment, as I reveled in the wonderful feelings she had imbued in my body and soul, but reluctantly forced myself. The dog curls in his lap, hangdog a look on his snout as can be imagined. Minutes pass, the guy sighs.The dog looks up, and asks, “Do you think the agent was a fan of DiMaggio?”Smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. “Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there.” “They don’t like that in heaven,” God said. The woman replied, “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t!2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. Some people are alive.
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