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.. what happened last night?”“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”His son replies, “Oh THAT ... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”Broken Coffee Table $239.99Hot Breakfast $4.20Two Aspirins $ .38Saying the right thing, at the right time: PRICELESS!Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then. I took a seat on a tool storage box and began to unwrap my prize. The thought of reading the directions briefly crossed my mind, but was rejected as I cast the empty box and wrappings over the side of the ship. The batteries slipped inside in an instant, and I was ready to give her a try. I moved the switch from the “tape” to the “radio” position. I turned up the volume, and turned the tuning dial, hoping to pick up a distant radio station. After sweeping back and forth across the tuning rang, I realized that we were too far out to sea to receive a station. No problem, I took out a cassette tape and popped it into the player. As soon as I pushed the play button the music poured out from the box, and I knew that I was in business. For the next couple of weeks, I took my boom box everywhere. I listened in my bunk, when I was working in the galley, and when I would set out on the fantail after I was done with work. My boss, the lead cook, did not mind my playing the box when we were.
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