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All details of this story, aside from names, are completely true and personal so please be kind. This is kind of a way for me to work through my thoughts. The title will be explained further in later installments. ***** I wasn’t always this way, broken and demented, torturing myself emotionally to distract from a deeper ache. I use to be wholesome. I was the girl with ambition and drive, searching for clarity in the ambiguity of the life I was living and the world I was merely a grain of sand in. I was confident, and still am in ways that don’t seem to matter anymore. Where I lost it was in my ability to achieve… and to make good decisions. Don’t mistake me, this is not a story of a girl’s fall from grace. This is the recap upon realization that I did not fall, I pranced joyously, despite the bittersweet nature of the journey, into the fire and reveled in my own burns. I basked in the smells singeing skin and found pleasure in the gut wrenching pain. I suppose I have him to thank. Keith shook his head slightly and grabbed Sam by the arm. "Come on then mate lets go and get a beer!"The evening passed in a bit of a blur for Sam. People came up to him and introduced themselves; talking and asking him questions. They would stand and chat amiably for a little while and then they would wander off again. Keith took Sam under his wing and stayed by his side. Advising him quietly on who was about to approach. Gradually Sam felt himself relaxing. Apart from the fact that they had stolen Sarah away from him, the family seemed to be a pretty decent bunch; all working class, working hard to provide for their families. Sam could appreciate the importance of an evening like this for them; the chance for them all to get together and let off steam ... to have a good time.All evening he was aware of the group of women. The seemed to have forgotten about him and were all talking animatedly. Sam remembered a comment Sarah had once made. Something about two minutes of air time.
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