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Normally, I don’t make them because I don’t keep them and then I feel bad that I failed in my quest to better myself in the New Year. This year is different. This year, I’m motivated. This year, I’m going to do it. ‘Hey, Freddie, I heard you were making a list of New Year’s Eve Resolutions.’ ‘Yeah, that’s right, Vinnie.’ ‘Well, aren’t you are little late?’ ‘You could say that or you could say that I’m early for next year.’ ‘I read your first one about exercising more. I never knew those LaLanne’s were into bondage.’ ‘Yeah, well, you never know about some people.’ ‘Boy that Elaine LaLanne must have been a hottie back then because she doesn’t look so bad now.’ ‘Vinnie, she’s almost 90-years-old.’ ‘Yeah, well, so what’s your next one on the list?’ ‘Anal sex.’ ‘Anal sex?’ ‘Yep!’ ‘You mean taking it up the ass?’ ‘Nah, giving it up the ass to a woman.’ ‘What the Hell kind of New Year’s Eve resolution is that?’ ‘Well, I’ve never had anal sex.’ ‘You never had anal sex? Are you kiddin’ me?’. The sound of the shot coming from a unexpected direction was enough to stop the action at the poker table, and they all turned to look at me. One of my old enemies shouted, "IT'S THAT GALOOT FROM JEMSON! GIT 'IM!"I probably should have minded my own business, but that's something that I just can't seem to do. The 3 cheats all turned their guns at me, so I was now committed to a fight. I started blazing away as fast as I could cock, aim, and fire. I thanked that gunsmith who had reworked my pistol, because it operated smoothly just when I so badly needed it. I got off 4 shots before any of the others could manage a single shot, and then I dove the rest of the way to the floor and rolled toward the end of the bar.I was already rolling as fast as I could move, and they apparently didn't know how to hit a moving target as the three galoots at the poker table finally got their guns to working, I managed to get around the end of the bar and behind it without being hit. The 3 fools further.
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