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I did not find that out until much later.It was different, yet it was more similar than she could know.It was in the sixth and seventh grades that I discovered a world that was totally different from that which everyone else was aware.I quickly learned not to say a thing about it, either! Children are not stupid! The few experiences I had earlier with my mother, in mentioning what she considered was strange, was enough of a warning for me. Well before my 'graduation' from elementary school, I had learned to keep my mouth shut!For example, I never mentioned that when I became angry, things happened around me. Lights flickered and blew out, and things became disturbed. I mean ... for example ... Once, when I was being punished for something, I went outside and into the backyard. I watched in stunned disbelief, as the entire garden was transformed in front of me.It was as if a blizzard of clippings had happened. One moment I was pissed off. The next moment, the very air was filled with. He loved me with all his heart. Told me how he could never do anything to harm me. Told me how he would change the world if he could. How could I believe his words when I knew they were lies? I swallowed the rage that started to evolve. I swallowed the anger that was about to show. I took pity on him. He was hurt and I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him happy.“Jake you know how I told you about my first time?” I asked him dumbfounded.“Yeah. I still want to kill that asshole that hurt you. I can’t fucking believe he raped you!” he yelled in a whispered tone. Almost afraid that the memories would come back to haunt me as we lay in this spot.“Well Jake I don’t want to remember that as my first time. I want you to be the guy I actually want to give it too. I feel as though as you deserve it better than him.” I said as I closed my eyes. Hearing myself say these words out loud scared me. The thought scared me but actually telling him this brought a new level of fear into my heart.“Jerj.
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