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I have had those feelings though but this was the only way I could make sense of it all. Self analysis was all I could do or is it fooling myself.....is there a difference ?.If Cindy and I were to "part" (meaning our sex sessions were done yet our feelings for each other were intact) then as long as it could be resolved like that then I knew I would be OK but it was important for me to know that she would be OK. This was totally different then the situation between Amy and I. She just plain dumped me in the middle of a serious relationship.If Cindy and I were to just end it without some resolution then that breeds contempt, then anger bubbles up then revenge................My original worries were now coming back to me and I knew I/we had a fine line to walk.This time Amy came over to my place, there was no dinner planned so I didn't have food prepared plus I wasn't in the mood to take her out or anything like that.I was confused and split between having feelings and not having them,. The patio outside the window would normally have been filled with students reading up for coming exams or professional folk of various strips taking a lunch break to chat. The day’s weather didn’t allow for it, however. A brisk wind blew a chill that made it unpleasant for even a hardy Midwesterner, and the sun hid behind a solid sky of gray fluff. Here and there a dark patch moved eastward with the wind.I stared out the window at the patio abandoned to just a few stray birds. They were drab and small and bounced across the concrete pad looking for crumbs from some brave soul’s morning scone. Cars drove past on the street.Pedestrians, some with umbrellas but all with slightly heavy spring jackets, walked along the sidewalk.I returned to my now cool coffee and my pad. The Asian girl had left, being replaced by some loud, busty sorority bitch. I wrote a few sentences about the once rocks, now powders that made up my study. I stared at the letters.Turning my pencil over, I quickly did.
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