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“Yes, I was just going to ask if you’d like to move in together. I mean I know with my face I don’t exactly have a winning ticket, but with you missing both of your gams, well, I figured I might have a shot,” she said. I just stared at her. That she had stopped me cold in my tracks was an understatement of heroic proportion.“Well, I have clearly overstepped myself,” she said, kinda looking down.“No, no,” I said, kinda hurriedly. “I was planning to ask you the same thing is all, and I was going to do it tonight. There has got to be something in the water; I mean really!”“No shit?” she said. And now she smiled.“For real,” I said. “And so I won’t be totally left in the dust here, I am really going to stick my neck out. What about you and me going to bed together, I mean tonight, now,” I said. Now she laughed. I was still too surprised by her request to show any significant emotion; but I was conscious, that was a plus.“Okay, and you do get a point on that score. I mean for having balls. ?Now now, darling, you know I can’t help you out? Mother would say in her Southern drawl, ?After all, you got a quite mediocre 87 on your Precalculus quiz, and you’re not doing nearly enough studying. You spend a lot of school nights out driving around with your friends.?It was true, but often I was driving around watching my father do his unpleasant duty as a transvestite hooker?I had to see it! And this had been making my grades suffer considerably.Finally I would shriek at Mother, who was giving me an endless light fingered massage, and then she would tell me sorrowfully that she was going to have to punish me for my disrespect?and she’d bring out her long, thin switch from the elm tree in the front yard!WHACK! THWACK! SMACK! SNAP! The switch would come down on my frustrated erection until I was weeping for mercy, and then Mother would turn me across her lap and welt my bare buttocks until I was howling and crying in complete misery and humiliation?Drea and Maura always found.
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