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No one ever wrote to Proctor and Gamble to tell them how effective their washing powder was on cats.There was always a problem with the geese, the goat and the dog, which would follow you down the road if you went out, and to cap it all there were chickens. Father, when asked what he did for a living on one occasion said 'Poultry Advisor'. When we asked what he meant he told us he could advise anyone not to keep them. In those days you could inject a pill into the male birds to turn them into 'capons' basically I think a sort of chemical neutering, and we did quite few of these, by the hundred actually. Whether this chemical had any effect on the humans who consumed them I have no idea, but I do have three children, who have qualified me to become a 'Parent Advisor'. I'm sure you can work out what that entails!And then there was the vicar, a genuine self sufficiency addict. He had, he told me, a problem with rabbits that were eating his vegetables. He had a reasonably sized tree. I think people will believe that." Mom nodded. "With a proper hair style and clothes, they won't have anychoice." I gave Mom a long hug, and then thanked the doctor, too. This was thebest news I had had in my whole life. When I got home, the first thing I did was call Brad. "Hi, guess what?" "What?" he asked and I could hear him trying not to sigh. "I'm a girl, the doctor said so." "And? How long did it take them to figure this out?" "They're doing some tests, but it's official. I may even go to St. Mary's." "We're still on for the dance tomorrow?" he asked, almost hesitating. "Yeah, unless you mind me being a girl, not a boy." "I never believed you were a boy, for real, ever. We're on." "This is the best news I have heard in ages," Dad told me as I hung up the phone. He gave me quick hug. "I am so happy for you, sweetheart. At least the medical profession has caught up with the painfully obvious. And this, at long last, may shut Carlton up." "What's his problem?" I asked. "Is he.
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