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The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn’t make the final payment on Grandma’s funeral bill, up she comes.About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don’t know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn’t get the tail gate down.Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don’t get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.Love, MaThese are from the. “The HAGS sign-up desk has a life-sized cardboard Hermione in that dress! That’s what gave me the idea. They’re already in love with you!” “Okay, point taken,” I conceded. “You think I’m geek catnip.” I rephrased: “Why would I want to hook up with undergrad boys?” “Because you haven’t had a date in the almost eighteen months I’ve known you,” she lectured. “And geek boys are like training wheels; you say ‘Hi, my name’s Jeannie,’ and if he doesn’t faint, you tell him how much you like Star Wars – or in this case, Harry Potter – and then just let him run like a wind-up toy while you work out whether you like him. He won’t try to grab your ass or your tits, and if you have to cut him loose, he won’t yell at you and call you a frigid bitch, because that conversation you just shared was the most intimate experience he’s had with a girl in his life.” “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” I laughed. “What’s more amazing is that you haven’t,” she giggled. “But seriously,” she put on her.
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