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I am still despondent. I didn’t hear from her for a long time. When I did hear from her, she told me that her mother and she were having big problems. I was sympathetic but there was nothing I could do. She called me one day and asked if I could meet her at the airport. I readily agreed, thinking she was returning home. ‘Call me when you firm up your travel plans,’ I told her. Time marched on and she was nowhere to be found. Then I got word that she had moved in with her boyfriend. I was really pissed off. She had been back for two weeks and hadn’t even bothered to come see me. I was really distressed about her moving in with that slug. It tore my heart right out of my chest to see her wasting her time on the playboy of the school. She was still much too young. She lucked out and didn’t get pregnant, thank God. I almost called the cops and had him arrested for statutory rape. Thinking back, I should have. She finally showed up at our house, completely apologetic. I’m afraid I was. ✧ ✧ ✧Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.✧ ✧ ✧Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads toslipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. Soremember ... Don’t sing!✧ ✧ ✧During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine andorgies. Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends?✧ ✧ ✧I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow,” that many times inyour first session but here we are... ✧ ✧ ✧If 2020 was a math word-problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH andyour canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingleyour roof?✧ ✧ ✧I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my legthrough my underwear without losing my balance.✧ ✧ ✧We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correctto, “Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”✧ ✧ ✧So if a cow doesn’t.
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