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She took a deep breath and spoke. ‘I’ve been an idiot.’ For a moment, Connor was so rapt in her eyes that he was certain that he must’ve misheard her. Then she continued. ‘Everything’s changed so much lately that when you asked me, I just… I panicked. I’d got so used to us how we were before and all my plans had been around that us.’ She dropped her gaze to her lap, where she held Connor’s hand. ‘After I told you about… about that thing, it was like this whole new bit of our lives opened up, a bit that I didn’t know what to do with. I wasn’t ready for… I wasn’t ready for how you made me feel.’ Her tongue worked across her dry lips and she swallowed, looking up at him. ‘When we… when you and I… I didn’t think I would ever find that with anyone. I still can’t believe that we… that you want that… with me. I guess I felt like it wasn’t a permanent thing and that we’d go back to how we were eventually.’ She looked into his eyes again. ‘I said that I didn’t know if I wanted to marry you. The reality of being a slave to a powerful woman is actually much harder and less sexy than the fantasies. In my fantasies it was all one big sensual experience. Lot’s of teasing and play; with blank gaps for the time in between, but during my stint as her slave, it was a lot of in between and not much play. Also, the loss of privacy was really difficult. Again, what was great in my fantasy life was actually really difficult in reality. I never had a moment alone unless I was confined in some way.So we spent a lot of time talking about the future and what it would be like if we went 24/7, and it was a lot of soul searching for me, considering the pros and cons.On the pro side, I would be the slave of a beautiful woman with intelligence and a kinky side that matches mine almost perfectly. If we were to take a BDSM test, we would be a perfect-match.On the con side there is a loss of my identity, loss of privacy, loss of any freedom and the list goes on. I would imagine how life would.
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