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My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and. “What’s it to be?”I looked into my sweet, faithful wife’s eyes one last time before replying. She paused then nodded silently.“We agree!” I mumbled.“Sorry?” he asked, as if he hadn’t heard.“He said we agree!” Amanda snapped.Andy stepped back and clasped his hands together.“Splendid! You’ve made the right decision – however hard it feels right now.”Amanda and I looked at each other again as Andy moved to my wife’s side.“Oh, I’m not saying there won’t be a few teething troubles between you, but in a year’s time you’ll be pleased you agreed to this tonight.” He ran his fingers through her long blonde hair. “It will be tough to begin with, but you’ll soon get used to our arrangement.”“So, are we finished now?” Amanda asked sharply, stepping sideways away from his reach. “Won’t your guests be feeling abandoned?”She moved towards the door and I made to follow, but before she could put her hand on the doorknob, Andy stopped her with a word.“Wait!” he called. “Don’t worry about my guests..
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