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I once rode her mother.”2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!”4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - “Ah, isn’t that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.”5. US PGA Commentator - “One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god!! What have I just said?”6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on ‘Time Team Live’ said: “You’d eat beaver if you could get it.”7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked, “So Bob, where’s that eight inches you promised me last night?” Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were. He then approached you, and your wife assaulted him with her knee to prevent him getting to you. Why didn’t you stand up for yourself, being a man?” he accused.Jessica was not going to stand for this.“Officer, that is quite enough! Reg has a stab wound in his back from when he rescued me in Scarborough recently. He was not in a fit state to be heroic this time, so I had to step in. There was no way I would allow him to be harmed again; NO WAY! Understand?” Her voice was raised, so everyone could hear her insistence.The policeman halted at this tirade and stared at her, then at Reg, recognition dawning. “Reg? Scarborough? Reg Robertson! I remember that story. Good grief: you do live an adventurous life, Mr Robertson.”Reg grinned wryly. “Not of my choosing, constable. I prefer the quiet life of academia.”“Oh, yes; you are at the university, it said. So what brought you here, today?”“Medical check-up of my knife wound. It is healing well, apparently.”Someone must have phoned the local.
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