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"She gestured at the news on TV."The phenomenon was first reported at 5:01 am Saturday Greenwich MeanTime, as the sun rose over the western British Isles, like Skye, Islay,and Man," the newscaster intoned. "People awake at that time reportdizziness lasting only a few seconds, while the changes took place. Thephenomenon seems to affect everyone: young and old, man and woman. No oneknows yet the cause, or the cure... " Men and women?" I said. "Wait, does that mean... ?" Yup," Samantha said, pulling down her sweatpants. There, on my wife'slovely body where her lovely mound should be, was a flaccid penis andtesticles. I couldn't help staring. I've seen other men's penises beforein locker rooms, but seeing one on my wife was stupefying."Shit, you could have just told me... "My wife let go of the elastic, and it snapped her new cock. "Ow!" You have to be careful. It's sensitive," I said."That barely grazed the balls, but I can still feel it stinging!"We sat and watched TV together for a. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that.
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