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Chokey – prison(H)andsome – really niceKrauts – GermansOld Bill - PolicePorkin(g) – fuckingWilderwineI was not due back for another nine hours, maybe more. Well that was what I had told her. It was a lie.Why? Well about six months ago I learned that my wife of forty two years is seeing another man. This had shocked me, for two main reasons, one, I thought we 'ad something special, I really did. The other, well I sort of told her many years ago that er, well if I ever caught her shagging around on me, well er, plain and simple, I would kill him, no doubt resulting with me getting an 'oliday at 'er majesties expense. Thing is, I meant it an' she bloody well knew it.The thing is, I don't really wanna do no bird, I'm a little past me sell by, y'know. I thought about getting one o' me old muckers to do it for me, but where's the satisfaction in that?When I found out, she were doin' some fucker, I wanted to know who, so I bugged me 'ouse. As soon as I found out who it were, I knew it would. ‘You said that you wanted the full-on twin experience.’ Rachel groaned and wished the pain in her head would go away. She began to wonder if they both had indeed, shared the full twin experience. Knowing her own nature and what she was like with a few drinks in her, she expected so. Not only that, but if she had done that, so had Valentina. No way was her bestie going to be left behind in the dust. ‘Don’t sweat it, it’s not like we’re going to brag about this or anything,’ Tristan said, hugging his new wife. ‘You know what they say, what happens in Vegas …’ ‘I can’t believe we acted like such dumb bitches,’ Valentina said as she flopped back on the bed. Then, her usual persona took over and she sat back up. ‘Oh well, what’s done is done!’ She turned to Rachel and hugged her, laughing. ‘Do you realize babes, this actually means that the two of us are on our honeymoon?’ She smiled. Rachel looked at her in disbelief and then, she too laughed. ‘Oops, sorry guys, the four of us!’ ‘Um, if.
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