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When we talk on the phone he always wants to hear the details if I've been with a woman. I tell him he's a freak because he just wants to beat off while I tell him about something he's not free to do. He tells me to fuck off then we both laugh.He says I have an unhealthy appetite, or an obsession with eating pussy, therefore I MUST be some kind of freak.I tell him he wouldn't think it was unhealthy if his wife let him do it more often and would wiggle her ass a little when he did, therefore he MUST be undersexed.Keli was my kid's third grade teacher years ago. Keli is not undersexed. We bumped into each other at a TGI Friday's. Literally, we bumped into each other and I sloshed beer on her shirt--what women call a "top" (so where are you going to wear a shirt, on your bottom?).She's divorced too, and dangerously pretty.Yada-yada, ten days later we're naked in her queen-sized bed, and it turns out Keli and I are a perfect match: oh jesus I love to eat it, and oh god she loves to put it. "Please take a seat," said the Mother Superior, indicating with her hand which chair she wanted Mary to sit in! Mary quickly sat down and waited quietly while the Mother Superior just sat and stared at her for a few minutes. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the Mother Superior spoke, "sister Mary Francis, how long have you been with us here at The Order of St. Catherine!?!" "Uh, about a year, ma'am," Mary replied softly! "And in that year," the Mother Superior continued, "how many times have you been sent to detention!?!" "I-I-I'm not sure, ma'am," she stammered?!?" "Not sure," the Mother Superior replied incredulously, "you have set the record for number of infractions in her first year, by far!!!" "Oh," is all Mary could say in a small voice! "sister Mary," she continued, "do you really want to be a member of our order, or is this just some kind of game you're playing, because if it is, I want it stopped right now, do you understand me!?!" "Yes, ma'am," Mary replied.
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