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Supermarket: a place where you can spend a half-hour looking for instant coffee.How can you spot people who can’t count to twenty? They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.I bought some Haagen-Dazs ice cream, and as the cashier rang it up, I asked: “How do you pronounce that.” She said slowly: “Five dollars and 29 cents.”✧ ✧ ✧left my last girlfriend because she wouldn’t stop counting. I wonder what she’s up to now.Drugs don’t kill people – people who run out of drugs kill people.I tried to join the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting – but all the seats were taken.I wonder what ‘DON’T TOUCH’ is in Braille.I asked the doctor to give me something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.My pencil isn’t prone to making Freudian Slips, but my penis.What Iran needs now is a more modern, moderate leader – a Mullah Lite.Is it normal ... For one of my testicles to be bigger than the other two?I just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave cookies in the oven while I nap.✧. But Paul, you haven’t done a thing to keep the last part of the promise.”“I don’t understand Laura. What’s the last part of the promise you keep talking about?”“To trust again, Paul. You haven’t told Anna and her grandparents the truth.”I looked at her with horror. “Laura, you can’t be serious! I already plan on telling them much of it, but I can’t tell them everything, especially the part about being from the future. They’ll think I’m insane, mentally unstable, bat shit crazy! I’ll lose them if I tell them everything. Then where will I be?”“That is a possibility, Paul. A very remote possibility. Love without trust, though, is a losing proposition, Paul. It’s not love at all. It’s not even friendship. At best, it’s nothing more than having a favorite acquaintance. Consider this. Can you go through the rest of your life lying to Anna and the Mendozas? Can you keep the cave, the RV, and your past a secret from them while living day in and day out professing your love to them? The.
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