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Here it was December 4th, and the shopping had been done, and all I had left to do was the gift-wrapping.I had made my trip when the mall first opened, and was taking my time on this lazy Saturday, coincidentally the day of my parents' marathon shopping trek, to do the wrapping. I was interrupted when Sam knocked at the back door. I waved her in, and continued to work on my poor excuse for wrapping. I don't know what it is about us guys, but, to this day, I have yet to meet a man, short of some of my gay friends, who can wrap a box anywhere like a woman. Of course, my problem with wrapping was immediately a source of ridicule from none other than Miss Samantha Morse."Here let me show you," she teased. "You know that sharp corners and proper paper management make this an easy thing to do." No, I didn't know that, and no, I had already resigned myself to sloppy wrapping and good gift choices being my lot in life."Sam, why are you trying to teach me this? Don't you agree that the. Weight a televangelist carries with god: A Billigraham.6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knotforlong.7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer: 1 Lite Year.8. Half a large intestine: 1 semicolan.9. 1,000,000 aches: A megahurts.10. Basic usint of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower.11. The shortest distance between 2 jokes: A straightline.12. 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds.13. 1000 cc’s of wet socks: 1 Literhosen.Smokeyjoe34 was very busy coming up with this group ... Howle ThanksA nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast.On her way over there she runs into Sister Jane and she says, “Hi Sister Jane,” by which Sister Jane says, “I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed this morning.She did not understand what Sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on.She was passing by the garden when she ran into Sister Roberta and she says, “Good morning Sister Roberta I am having a.
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