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”“Well, I’ve done that, and I can remember when it was standard.”“I’m not a brave person when pain is involved.”“That’s the way we’ll do it, then.”After church one Sunday, she and Eric asked the Pierces to be godparents. Eric sort of owed them reciprocation, since he was godfather to one of the twins, and she owed Carolyn so much.Carolyn was genuinely pleased, if not genuinely surprised. She had clearly been expecting the invitation. Bill was even more pleased. Babies were important to him.“You do have two of your own,” Carolyn said to him, and then to her and Eric. “Actually, I can’t claim that he ignores the boys. For all Bill’s faults as a husband, he was always a hands-on parent. It’s just that he lusts after tiny infants to hold in his arms. I guarantee, though, I won’t let him take her home with him.”“Now, Carolyn,” Bill said, “I always give kids back to their parents. It’s the only way that they’ll trust me with them.”“Ha! I can remember you telling Nancy Hashimoto ‘finders. For those of you who don't know what that means: they were the strictest, fun-hating, sour-faced people on the planet. Fundamentally their beliefs meant that they were born in sin, lived in sin, and died in sin unless God chose them for his magnificent plan. So all they could do was pray, live as purely as possible, and hope with all your might that you don't end up in hell, which was actually extremely likely in that case. So as you can see, dear reader, their God was an asshole.Now for most of my life, I had believed in that nonsense too. I mean, how could I not? Most of my childhood was spent at home, as my parents didn't dare to send me to a normal primary school. Instead, they taught me the basics of Mathematics, English, History, Geography and Bible Studies from the comforts of our own home. My parents were not bad teachers, and actually did seem to have a lot of knowledge about the worlds. But of course, this strategy meant I didn't have many friends growing up, and once I was.
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