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“Oh come on”, he retorts. “They’re condoms”, he adds.“What?” I say.“Condoms. You put them on your willy when you have sex. I heard me Da say so – he was giving orders to me Ma to put it on his willy”.As he elaborates, I feel movement down below. I like the idea of this. I don’t know why, but it sounds like it should feel good.“Where you get them” I ask.With a look of obviousness, Mark replies “Where you think?” His father’s supply. I am handed a packet, and told to open it. I take it with shaking hands, and tear the packet open. I pull out the condom, and wonder how on earth one is supposed to wear such a thing while having sex. I was still a virgin, and really had no interest in sex per se – I was just getting used to the euphoric feeling of jerking off, and the resulting orgasm, obviously.“How do you wear them?” I ask.“You slip it on your willy when it’s big, and roll it down” replies Mark the learned.“You’re joking” I say.“No way, man – check it out” he replies. Before I have a. I picked up the phone, but before I could even say ‘Hello’ there was a screaming in my ear. It was Megan. ‘WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH? You need to get your sorry ass over here and apologize to Susan right this instant! Mel and I have been up all night trying to keep her from filing charges against you, you pathetic excuse for a man!’ ‘What the hell are you talking about, Megan? Susan has been here with me all night and believe me, she had no complaints!’ ‘You GOD DAMNED LIAR! Susan has been with us all night. We’ve had a dreadful night trying to keep you out of jail! You get your sorry ass over here and apologize RIGHT NOW!’ She slammed the phone down, leaving me confused and agitated. I had no clue, but roused myself and crawled into my clothes. I was totally confused as I drove to Mel and Megan’s. I didn’t have the slightest idea what they could be upset about. Lack of sleep had dulled my senses. Megan met me at the door. She grabbed my arm and.
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