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I think the whole country was numb after 9/11. Angry. Wanting to do something. And worried sick about our loved ones who were now put at risk. Out of all the clan, only Whitney had enlisted in the armed forces and we all prayed in our own ways for her safe return to us. I think even Brian prayed for her in his own way as he led the children through forms in the sacred space.“If I thought there was a God who could save and protect my loved ones, I would have hunted him down and killed him after Denise died,” he once said. I had my own anger issues with the Almighty who allowed Hayden to be taken from us so early in his life. But I still prayed for Whitney.Marilyn and I moved in with Dinita, who had been rattling around in her house ever since Angela moved to Minneapolis for her residency. It was never quite the same with Dinita after Hayden died. She was loving and concerned but too far separate from us to be a full-time part of Marilyn’s and my relationship. We spend most nights in. .. Lazy ... Just not feeling good, I don't know what, but I'm not up to sex right now." For the tenth time in the last month, Rebecca turned me down when I snuggled up to her. We hadn't discussed her lack of sex drive, beyond the fact that she didn't have one, and attempts to talk about it led nowhere.Rebecca started to feel less interested in her life shortly after Millicent was born. For a long time I suspected it was jealousy after her insisting we include Winnie in our bed, but apparently that was not it, because Rebecca would play with Winnie and Collen off and on. Recently, however, she's been passing on joining them.If it was chemical I wanted to get to the bottom of it. If her problem was medical, I wanted to find out how, why, and what to do about it. Rebecca wanted to let it slide for a while and see if it went away on its own. I was afraid she would opt to go away, instead of getting her problem to go away. Lots of relationships fail to survive the stresses of childbirth,.
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