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“What’s this?” I asked, startled.“Listen. As you know I was raised as a strict Lutheran. I’m 70 years old. There are lots of things, like...like sexual things I have never done, and I want to do them before it’s too late.”I looked at the list. Crossed off at the top was “have someone touch my pussy,” “have someone lick my pussy,” and “have an orgasm.” Wow. The list included about three dozen sex acts that most girls experience before they’re 17. Some items on the list surprised me, like “masturbate,” “touch a man’s penis,” “watch pornographic movies,” “have a penis in my anus” and “make love to a woman.” I was pleased that, in her inexperience, a wild streak was coming through.“You mean you’ve never done any of these things?” I asked.“Until two weeks ago, no, and as you can see those were just three little items.” As if having her son-in-law deliver a mind-blowing orgasm with his tongue was just a “little item.” She looked sternly. “I need you to help me.”“You can’t be serious,. But, as Celestine explained to Commerce, she was not a Catholic, and had her own ideas about birth control. He could stay home and babysit when she dated, and then clean her up with his tongue when she came home.Commerce began performing oral sex on Celestine regularly. The Bible and the Baltimore Catechism both prohibited the spilling of semen, but the Sins of Onan had little to do with Celestine’s orgasms, so she could cum as often as she liked!Commerce and Benny had become friends, as their wives were close, and Commerce had told Benny about how Celestine had helped to discourage his interest by tying him up in his workshop, squeezing Commerce’s balls in his carpenter’s vice, and then whipping his hard cock with a piece of fiberglass!But Celestine had caught Commerce trying to enter her while she was sleeping, and so then she’d gone to the PainCafe’s Dungeonopolis Gift Shop and purchased a chastity device for Commerce, which had helped a little bit, but of course he still had had.
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