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"What is it with you and this white boy shit? Damn woman, you are a woman aren't you, give me a fucking break and let's see if we can get this behind us, or at least on the other side of your big black fat ass."Ok I could not just let it go, I had to show I had a set."My ass is not fat." Her next e-mail started.I had to laugh at that one. You tell a woman she is a low class cheating slut, a lying cum drinking fat whore and the first thing she will deny is being fat.We went on for over a year. Not everything was angry. I told her about my stories all being love stories, even if they were weird. I admitted I was not a good writer, I was barely a writer, but I enjoyed it. Not one of my stories ever left out love. "I kill monsters" was a love story about two people broken by hate after confronting evil, finally finding love with each other but still confronting evil in the world."Tell that lie to someone else white boy I don't need to hear it" she wrote back."Well in An Extended Caribbean. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24.
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