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” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”The secret to a long life... A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said. “You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you’ll live to nice ripe old age.”So, the young cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to be the nice ripe old age of 96.When he died, he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ... and a 16-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.Bad Mom?“Can you pleasehold my hand?” A mother asks her son: “Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?”Son: “My name is Paul.”✧ ✧ ✧After the floodAfter. Appearing back at the village Alan had a huge smile etched on his face.“Damn it Alan!” Angelika said as she threw her arms around Alan. “You can’t keep doing this! You had both Truda and I worried to death!”Truda walked up and actually punched Alan in the arm. “OW! Damn it Truda why in the hell did you do that!?” Alan almost shouted.“THAT!” Truda said with an angry look on her face, “was for worrying the hell out of my best friend!” Throwing her arms around Alan also, Alan could swear that both of them were crying! Then as they both withdrew saw that they both had in fact been crying!Truda and Angelika held on to Alan as Angelika kissed him. Truda then gave him a long lingering kiss that seemed to go on forever. “You are far more important than you think Alan.” Angelika whispered in his ear.“Yes,” Truda was saying in his other ear. “I’d hate to have to bring you back just so I could kick your ass!”Alan could only stare at them both as they released him and walked away. Shaking his.
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