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2010. I was really hurt by it and got into a drinking mode that had left me drunk every night. A real good brother owned a bar at the time,and this didnt help the situation any. But as the month was comming to a close, He decided to close down the place because it wasnt really making any money to speak of. He decided to have a closing party, and all were invited. He had a Rock band there that was tops in the area, and had their own following at all times.This night there was a woman that I had seen at their concerts a lot, Her name was Brandi. She is 24yrs old 5ft 10in , blond, 42dd, with a baby roll, you know that roll that has not disapeared from having a baby. My friend Doc told her of my needing some cheering up, and she decided to give the old man a try for the night. We sat and drank beer,then we went outside to the parking lot where I had parked the truck. I had a bottle of Jack, and another bottle of vodka. She took the vodka and downed half the liter, while I nursed the. Had it been worth it, no, but it was done.As Jodi rolled over, sat up and pulled the blankets up to cover her naked form, I handed her the phone and sat quietly near her on the bed. I watched as she looked at the phone, and was shocked as she put it down. She looked at me and asked a question that completely threw me off my base. “Is that what you want?”I didn't know how to respond. I didn't even understand the question. She repeated it. There was no anger in her voice, no hurt in her eyes, just the question, “Is that what you want?”“I don't know.” I answered her. “I lost track of what I want a long time ago and lost track of who I am today. I did things today that I never would have thought myself capable of doing. I have never felt rage like that, and I certainly have never wanted to hurt you or take advantage of you like that. When the shit hit the fan though, I did. I did those things knowing what I was doing, knowing what the consequences would be and I still did them. Now I am.
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