You have no idea what he looked like. Even your face didn't look much grayer than his, and you were dying. I was — we were — very afraid for him. We still are." I'm sorry," Helen quietly said, "I had no idea that it cost him so much to use that instrument on me." It doesn't seem to be the using of the machine that affects his conditioning, rather that anyone knowing he is using it, or seeing it, or him trying to talk about it." Glancing at Laura for confirmation, "Apparently the conditioning, if that's what it is, is directed toward absolute secrecy of the healer. At least, that's what Laura and I think."Okay, enough on that for now. Jeff said you were embarrassed that he had carried you to the bathroom while you were nude. He also commented that you probably felt, shall we say, a little less at ease when you woke up still nude. That was my idea, I guess. You see, you were deeply asleep, unconscious more correctly, at least at first, and we were afraid, well... your bodily. The white and black tiles danced and moved for me, spinning and twirling in front of my eyes, as he ushered me into the shower. What the fuck? ‘I’m sorry kid, but this is the only thing I can think of doing right now. I have to get your temperature down. If it doesn’t help, I’ll take you to hospital, okay?’ No. No. No. I wasn’t going to hospital. Not again. They probably knew me by now. I’d probably have to see that damn dickhead psychiatrist again. Fucking pompous idiot. My mind started to play tricks on me. The psychiatrist was talking to me. Asking me those stupid, invasive questions- ‘Why did you try to take your life this time, Miss Reid? Do you like the attention?’ Attention!? What a thing to say to a suicidal teenager! No way. I wasn’t going to be treated like an insolent child. Not again. The man with me didn’t seem to expect an answer. He let go of me to turn on the shower faucet, and I slipped down onto the floor again. A burst of icy cold water hit me. God, it felt.
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