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"You're as bad as Rudolph!" she accused Claude. "Moi?" Said Claude, pointing to himself, an expression of injured innocence on his face. Leaving the kitchen and the amorous creator of Christmas cuisine, she followed the signs to the apparent safety of Santa's inner sanctum, where Santa's little helpers crowded excitedly around her. Cindy, assuming that they, like all the others, had sinister intentions, rapidly removed her knickers, resigned to the fact that she would not get out of the gruesome grotto without being screwed. The little green people, skipping and dancing, and singing and laughing, sniffed her undies and passed them around, intoxicating themselves with the scent of her womanly bits. High on sex and touching her mischievously, they ushered her inside a glistening ice cave, to where the great man languished upon a large leather chase longue, drinking a dram of Drambiue, his favourite liqueur, and smoking a huge Havana cigar. Hiding his glass under his white, wispy. There was nothing like in the movies, nor even accompanied by the ‘warning signs’ of chest pain, numb left arm, etc. It felt like bad heartburn that didn’t go away with antacid. It was right in the middle of my chest and I worried I was developing acid reflux. I lay down but that didn’t help. Then my wrists felt like they were swelling and throbbing weirdly, so I told my wife I thought I would take her earlier suggestion and go to the ER.They rushed me into surgery and installed some stents and that was it. The rest was recovery. As it turned out even that was abbreviated, thank the stars -- I was starving in the hospital. It wasn’t because of the ‘heart healthy’ diet, but the sheer lack of edible food. The place had an excellent reputation for heart patients, but the usually execrable food for which hospitals are known was even worse than most I’ve known.But it is my recovery I am writing about. At first, they had me on one floor in the CRU. That lasted two days. Most of the nurses.
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