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I didn't know whybut I always felt like I should have been a girl too. All the dancersthat came and went, I longed to be not just with them, but I wanted tobe one of them..... It was a dark secret that I could not explain.How could anyone understand a boy that wants to be a girl? This wassomething that social norms did not allow. Kids like that got beat upin school. So, I kept it hidden and it was killing me on the inside.I was afraid if I did not find a way to deal with this I would want totake my own life. You can't imagine what it feels like to hide yourtrue self, knowing that if you ever were found out, that everyone youlove would instantly hate you. It was just too much for a child tobear.Having a mom and sister close in age, there was plenty of femininityaround the house. You could not miss it. It was everywhere. Yet Iwas not part of it. It was just a constant reminder of a place Ilonged for, but didn't belong. My mom and my sister left to meetanother mom and her. Mike pulled up a chair from a nearby table so he could be close but not hampered by the booth table. I ordered a platter of mixed pastries and a pot of coffee and cups. We looked at each other while we waited to be served. Chuck and I sat across from the two FBI agents. Mike sat quiet, alert for trouble.I turned back to the two FBI agents and handed one of them the report about Mars Exploration. "Can you prove this?" he asked intently after he read it."The private detective can. Subpoena his records and find out. Take notes and hand it back. I need this when I face off against the baddies." He did as I asked and I placed the sheet back into the manila envelope."Anything else you can share with us?" he asked hopefully."Find out who raided Hundley offices downtown and confiscated all the records. It was supposedly the US Marshall's Office. My phone went off again."Yes," I said."This is Carter. The president wants to know if you would please speak with him." He sounded like he had all.
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