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’ I don’t know what possessed me to say the next thing out of my mouth. ‘We’ve got a house for rent nearby. Talk to Yolanda. She might be willing to show it to you.’ The second I said it I wondered if I was going to regret it … big time! Georgia looked at me as if I was an alien. ‘You’d do that?’ I waved my hand in dismissal. ‘Talk to Yolanda. It’s her house. She decides.’ I could see Georgia’s eyes watering, and I looked away, finishing the last of my coffee. I think we were both trying to figure out the other. My taste for revenge had seemingly disappeared. I just wanted my boys nearby. I wasn’t worried that she would take good care of them. We could probably come to some arrangement for sharing them. Probably. I decided to go to work later that morning. They might not be expecting me, but Doug and ‘my girls’ had been more than understanding as I went through the toughest period in my life. It looked like it might be over now. I was 99% healthy, and I had my boys back. I was feeling. I know Ginny's with the Lord. As the old expression goes, we both did our time in hell. But mine endures, when she died, my soul was sundered. So intertwined were we, that the 'me' I was, doesn't exist anymore.I know that life continued, I ate, slept, I went to work, watched TV, I even went to my beloved Texas home football games down in Austin. But if I didn't have the ticket stubs, I would swear I hadn't even watched them on TV.I know I visited with friends and that family came to see me. But for the last six months, I retreated into a deep place where light has never been. If only, if only suicide wasn't a mortal sin--but like that old 60s song Last Kiss."She's gone to heaven so I got to be goodSo I can see my baby when I leave this world."Tonight is Christmas Eve, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through tomorrow. I've just returned from our midnight candlelight service at church. As we sang endless Christmas carols, something shattered. When my little candle was lit, it.
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