We remained immensely respectful of each other. It was erotically charged, but completely safe and well "held" by the organisers. I found myself, three times, holding a beautiful woman in my arms, naked and gentle moving against me, as she felt the space, felt the touch of others or the sounds of the dark room. Without any words spoken she guided me to hold her where she would gain most pleasure from the encounter. We breathed together - and in one case, with just my hold and our breathe, she came with a beautiful sense of joy and release. It felt so right to hold her. Not to touch her inner folds. Just to allow her to be one with the dark, one with the feel of the space, and feel her explode in joy.After one hour there was stillness when the gentle music stopped. We were invited to stay still for a few moments. Come back to our own space, our own body, our own skin. And then a single candle was lit and, through the shadow and flickering light, I saw the most beautiful, joyous,. Tell him what you want. If you want to be exclusive, tell him that. If you don't want to be exclusive, tell him that. Then he will know what his situation is and you won't have another misunderstanding." She rolled her eyes and sipped her drink. I realized at that moment that she liked me as little as I liked her. Our common thread, what kept us together, was our willingness to endure each other. Or was that all it was? It didn't seem like it. No, she definitely gave me something I hungered for. For the life of me, I couldn't grasp what it was. I thought it might be that it made me feel better about myself to be next to such a despicable person. That wasn't the answer. It came too easy to explain it that way. It was self deprecating enough to convince myself I wasn't hiding any ugly truths from myself. It worked very well as an explanation but for one little thing. I knew it wasn't true. She said, "Well, we aren't on speaking terms at the moment so I.
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