I dropped the stone and just kept walking to Hannah’s home, a much humbler one than mine. Uncle Amram and Aunt Deborah both greeted me with considerable anxiety, to say the least, while Hannah looked downcast for her part.“Uncle, I wish you to level with me and do it quickly. Why have you kept delaying the wedding, postponing it, when it would be best for all of us for Hannah to be safely planted in my house, in my bed? Is it the dowry, because I can forgive the lack of dowry. I can let that slide. Is that all?” I demanded of my uncle.“If only it were that ... I suppose that I would face the terrible news and break it to you. I just dreaded very much. Hannah ... isn’t a virgin. I don’t know how or when or where it was taken from her, but my daughter has played the harlot in my house. The trouble is that I still love her, she’s still my daughter, and I do not wish her to be stoned. Nor does Deborah.“If you married her and discovered that she didn’t bleed as a maiden would, we would. I can feel your breath in my hair, your face is tilted down toward the top of my head as I stare into the darkened fabric of your shirt, my eyes wide open. Why am I holding my breath? It’s as if I’ve willed my heart to stop beating, as if I’m trying to simply freeze the moment because I’m afraid of the next second, minute, hour. I find my way back to you and release my lungs slowly, silently, hoping you haven’t noticed. I re-focus on you, forgetting myself and my brain’s unrelenting suppositions. Where are your hands now? Where will they go? Will they stop? When? At what point will you draw the line? It will have to be you who alters the course of this encounter. Whether subconscious or otherwise, I decided weeks ago that I would do nothing to stop this moment if I were to find myself lost here, caught between my dreams and reality, unwilling to force myself to realize on which plane I’m standing: one that’s too enticing to give up, the other too undeserved to ask for . My hands.
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