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" I have a private dating service. I work for myself. I usually go out to dinner with business men who need arm candy for the night. It gets me plenty of spending money while I'm in college." So how did you meet Jim and Keith last week?" I asked."I was out with a couple of my friends that went to college with Jim and Keith. We were just out for the night when my friends saw Jim. My friends know about my business and I guess one thing led to another and they asked me if I would be your date for the night."I even gave them a special price since it was your birthday. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to deceive you in anyway." I'm sorry too, how much do I owe you for having dinner with me? Boy, that sounds terrible." Ken, just so you know, I had a nice time. Most men I go out with are a lot older and I'm usually arm candy or go along as a business date. For that I get three hundred dollars. If sex is involved it goes up to five hundred or more depending what they want. For your birthday I only. What I mean is that when it was all normal,boringly normal, I wanted it to all go away and leave me alone. Now it'sgone and been swept away forever, and, well I think you know how thesaying goes. My stomach rumbles. My supplies are out. I need to go shopping. Great.It's a long way from dusk. I don't like the night. It scares me. Me, thelast man on earth. Afraid of the dark. But this apocalypse is nothinglike I am Legend. My fate pales into significance against The Omega Mans.I wish the world were populated by blood sucking vampires or pasty facedzombies, something I could take a shotgun to in cathartic blood lust andrage. Something spine tingling to get the adrenaline going, to save mefrom this terrible boredom which a fate almost as bad as death. I've readevery dime novel on the subject, from Damnation Alley to George A.Romero's screenplays. Those guys had it easy. I wish I had mutantscorpions the size of Cadillac's after me, hordes of leaches out for me.And it's all because of some.
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