She enjoyed it” He smirked back at me, the lying son of a bitch. I wanted to knock him out.“Now for your punishment” Gene said. But it wouldn’t seem like much of a punishment. I had already fucked Steven, practically by Mr. Lamar’s request and I had wanted Colin badly. If I fucked all three right there it would have been better than when Gene had forced me to be spanked in front of the copier by Frank and some of his buddies before I left yesterday. “Alright Colin I’ll see you later” To my surprise Colin and his brother nodded laughing as they left the office. He had purposely done it to let Colin see me red with embarrassment for watching him last night. I felt a wave of sadness and degradation fall over me. I let a tear stream down my face. Gene walked over to where I was standing helplessly. He unprecedently took me into his arms with his strong hand stroking my back. Than he said to me,“You’re a bad girl….you know that you get what you deserve.” He pulled my face away from his. " He wanted to be awoman for sure, but only on his terms, not those of some long-deadViennese psychiatrist. The idea of inhabiting a woman's body for a timeexcited him in a way Freud would have never been able to explain."Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." He mused.He tried dressing up as a woman, but the image of himself in drag nevercame close to the ideal beauty he needed to become. "It's kind ofgross anyway, I mean, I look like a man in a dress and then, once I'mdone, it's suddenly so embarrassing to see myself in the mirror dressedlike that." He couldn't count the number of times he'd bought woman'sclothes, put them on in the privacy of his own bedroom, and thendisgustedly threw them away after wearing them only once.He considered altering himself physically, maybe through hormones orsurgery. "Perhaps the right doctor could give me what I need." But hewas never able to convince himself that it would be the right path forhim. "Maybe I don't have the courage of my.
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