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. Our former pornstar, Renae ... And beside her, sitting, his hind legs slightly spread to show off his heavy sheath, a large blue-grey Weimaraner dog.Renae introduces the show in her squeaky, high-pitched, girly northern tones, “Hello ... Welcome to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... I’m your host, Renae Russell, and this is my boy Logan...” She looks down at him, then half-laughs, “Show a little modesty boy ... Put it away!” and giving his leash a little tug to bring him to attention, standing up, his tail wagging slowly as if he knows he’s just been caught doing something cheeky.Renae continues, “This week we’re back up in my part of the world, in St Helens in Lancashire ... At a seat of scientific knowledge – to see if we can educate a couple of the professors in the joys of inter-species copulation!”We cut to a shot of a man and woman, standing side-by-side, arms interlocked. Both of them are attractive without being models. Approaching middle-age, slim, healthy looking. They. Nothing too bad.’ I told him.‘Are you a virgin?’ He asked.‘Well yeah. The boys around there aren’t too great. They’re all little rednecks. I don’t want a redneck boy. I want someone who don’t go huntin’ and wear cowboy boots. Ya know?’ He laughed as he lit another cigarette. ‘No not really.’‘Are you?’ I asked. ‘No.’ He started out at the lake. ‘Got a girlfriend?’ I asked. Not knowing what else to say.‘Nope. All the girls I know are little whores. And if they aren’t whores then they’re bitches. It sucks, bad.’ He laughed.I laughed. We sat in silence for a while. He smiled. ‘Remember when we were kids and we used to play? We used to have so much fun.’ I smiled. ‘Yeah. Remember when you used to play Barbie with me? You’d be the Ken doll and I’d be Barbie and we’d have little weddings and Kelly would be our baby.’He laughed. ‘Yeah. I miss the days when things used to be so simple.’‘Me too.’ I said. We talked for a few hours. We laughed and reminisced and talked.
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