It was so much fun unwinding at the end of the week. If I couldn’t have sex with the man I craved, then getting off with my friends was the next best thing. If Christians wanted straight girls to not have premarital sex with the boys, then they needed to encourage them to seek each other out for satisfaction.It kept my cherry intact and meant I didn’t have to worry about pregnancies while I was satiating my pussy. Of course, I really liked girls. Some of my friends just did it for the pleasure, dreaming of the hunkiest guy at our school. Well, the hunkiest student. The hunkiest guy was my dad. Such wicked, incestuous lust burned inside of me. Dad was so sexy. He was an intelligent man, an English teacher, but he also could get his hands dirty. He could talk to you about Shakespeare while stripping down an engine.He was so cool. Not like mom. I was glad she was gone for the weekend with her dumb friend. Part of me hoped she never came back. She wanted me to be a perfect woman. Wear. "See you Christmas Day then," he replied as I left.Well, at least I would be warm for a couple of days. I might even get a bath and a change of clothes.***Christmas Eve was one of the worst I can remember. The room seemed smaller than usual as well as damper. I was certainly more depressed. It is at this time of year that I missed my family most. I don't usually let it get to me, but... Even in this shithole I can hear people enjoying themselves. It just reinforces my sense of loss. I cry myself to sleep.At daybreak my mind is made up. Without pausing for breakfast (breakfast, who's kidding who?) I leave my room and head for the nearby railway line. There is a footpath across the tracks here. I wait for a train to approach and calmly walk out in the middle of the line. I stop and turn my back on the oncoming train. All I can hear is the sound of its horn and the squeal of its brakes. The horn gets louder and louder as the train gets nearer. I know that I haven't given the driver time.
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