The bare stone was bitterly cold under her feet, and she quickly donned her shoes. Around her in the dormitory her fellow postulants were doing the same, some of them already disappearing through the door, and she hurried to join them.Once the bell had rung, they had only a short time to dress and hurry down the night stair to the chapel for the first of the day’s devotions. Although in the winter months it was often bitterly cold, the long dark nights meant that they would be free to sleep for up to ten hours without interruption between Compline and Matins, something that Abigail and the other young postulants found most welcome.She frowned as she passed Dorcas, but the other girl just gave her a wicked smile.“I know you were listening, Sister Abigail,” she sniggered. “Did it make you wet under your shift? You should let me help you with my candle. Sister Margery enjoys it so much. And I know Father Gregory loves to hear her confession. I’ve seen the mess on his cassock. What did this mean for me and Sveta? Had we technically cheated on each other? Would she expect more attention from my mom in the future? Should she?And what would mom do now? I tried picturing myself in her position and realized that I couldn’t. I had no idea what she was thinking right now.She had seen me grow from a teeny-tiny girl into the woman I am right now. I say ‘woman’, but that term is probably contested.The stereotype of a teenager – and I am not a teenager, having finally reached my glorious twenties – is that we yearn to be seen as adults. But I’ve never been like that. I never asked for more authority or acceptance. I was fine, really, with being told what to do – as long as what I was told made sense. I’ve always been fine with being the younger, less experienced person. In a way, that made things more liberating, gave me more leeway to do whatever I wanted. If I was told to clean my room, the task itself was pretty straight forward, but the parameters were set by.
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