Ruben was all that was holding us together then. I was so into my work at the hospital that I often failed to think of either of you until I was on my way home. To me, that was wrong. You and Ruben should have been my first priority always. My job should have been only that; a job. I've come to understand that and now I'm doing what I should have been doing before. I work at a job I like, but the job is not my life." But where does that leave us, Carmine? What do we do now? Just see each other when you come to see Ruben or when I come to get him? After all we were to each other, is that all that's left? I can't believe that Carmine. I just can't." You and I are two different people now Nan. How do we know how we'll feel after a while. You are remembering me as I was. I'm no longer the same man. I've learned things no civilized man should know and I sometimes react in inappropriate ways. I can be dangerous to those around me. I have to remember every day that I'm free to do as I wish.. .but never caught them having sex or even heard them going at it. After a few months, I realized that my cousin's wife was not getting enough cock. My cousin would be gone early morning and come home late, often too tired to sit around with us. The more I realized my opportunity to fuck this woman, the more daring I became. While the baby slept and my cousin's wife was in the shower, I would get naked and walk around the house with a full hard on. Often jimmying open the bathroom door to get a glimpse of this hot ass. This became a ritual, she'd be showering, I'd be masturbating at the door watching her. I would hold the door open until the very last second, the shower turning off and my cousin's wife opening the showerdoor to reach for the towel, then I would close the door and go to my room. Within seconds the bath door opens andshe walks past my room to her own.I must've come home drunk one night, because in the morning I was awaken by the phone ringing, my cousin's wife called for.
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