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So I was really pleased when Headmaster Crotchety invited me into his private office. Which was just as sucky as the other room but let's not go through all that again. But none of it was as sucky as Headmaster Crotchety who not only didn't offer me a seat but just went on and on about uniforms and standards and bitch-whores and nubile teen temptresses and enlarged members and Mr Carpenter wanking in the staff loos as if I hadn't had to stand and listen to Miss Crossface say exactly the same things. Rather than listening, I was busy trying to push the remote control, vibrating, princess plug out of my tushy before sucking it back in again which was much more fun than listening to all those spewy, boring words. Yet he just kept talking; words, words and yet more words; government pilot, horny harlot, victorian values, legal lolita, decorum and discipline, over-sexed strumpet, corporal punishment, bubble-headed bimbo, staff room now, prick-teaser, public humiliation, and the more he. "Emily? Why would she be coming here?"She has the best nails!" Lindsay oozed.That wasn't the answer I wanted."You want to see?" Gaby asked."What?" I said, opening my eyes. "Aaaah!"She held a mirror in front of my face. I actually looked semi-girl like."So this is Kyle's house?" I heard Emily say."Yes," Lindsay answered."And why are we here?" You'll see."The two girls entered. Emily and I locked eyes."Oh my god!" Emily said."Doesn't he look great?" happily said Lindsay.If it weren't for what happened on my bed yesterday with Lindsay, I would seriously be thinking about getting a different girlfriend."So you want me to do him?" Emily asked.Unfortunately that wasn't innuendo."Uh-huh." Why?"That was what I was wondering though I knew Lindsay's answer."We're making him look like a girl, so he can be on our volleyball team." You've got to be kidding." Nope!"Lindsay was much too cheery about this. What did I really know about the girl? Well, I did know she had great lips, a great body I.
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