I laid my violin case down on the table and took a sip of my insipid latte. Then I undid the latches on the case and lifted the lid to check my baby. My heart dropped through my stomach. ‘Oh god, no…’ I reached into the case, and touched my broken instrument. Then I closed it, slumped forward, and tried to fight back the tears. My violin. My mother had sold some of her silverware and had used the money to buy it for me when I was fourteen years old. It was a glorious instrument, old and mellow. I’d played it at Eisteddfod, at school, and at University. And now I played in a small string quartet to supplement my income. It was as much a part of me as my face. To see it lying there, neck broken, sound board cracked and bridge destroyed, hurt me far more than I ever could have imagined. I scrubbed at my eyes, opened the case again, and lifted my instrument awkwardly out, trying not to lose any parts or do any more damage. I laid it in front of me, and just looked at it, gulping. You. I wonder if I'll go back to being adumbo when I get to be a guy again. I hate to admit it, but I likebeing one of the smartest kids in my class. Tuesday December 8Tennis was great today. Much better in my new shorts. My doublespartner is a cool girl named Jenny. We smoked the other girls.No progress on my poem. It is starting to snow. Wednesday December 9There must have been a foot of snow on the ground this morning. Atfirst Mom didn't think she could make it out of the driveway, but thenwe got plowed out, and we made it to school a few minutes late.Everybody else was late too. I wore long wooly sox and boots over mytights, and it wasn't too bad.Maddy asked me if I wanted to study with her today after school. Shelives close to Francis Xavier. I called Mom, and she said it would beokay, so I put on my sox and boots after school and we trudged throughthe snow to Maddy's house. Her Mom fixed us hot chocolate and wetalked about everything but homework. When I go back to being a guy,maybe.
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