I looked at the clock and noticed that I was passed the ten minute limit that my teacher had given me. Outside his office I lightly tapped on his door. "Come in." I heard from inside.I opened the door and went into the office. Mr. Smith was seated at his desk. Right in front of his desk was a straight back chair. He looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Have a seat Miss Taylor and please explain to me why you could not make it to my office in the ten minutes that I had given you."I sat in the chair and rested my hands in my lap. "Well, Mr. Smith I had to stop at the restroom first. I came here as soon as I was finished. I am sorry that I was late." Well, young lady we seem to have a problem here. You are in grave danger of flunking out of my class. Plus in addition you seem to have a problem with telling time. When I said ten minutes I meant ten, not fifteen." Yes sir, I do apologize for that." That won't be quite good enough. I think you need a stiff punishment, so that you will remember. He has taken away my anxiety, a part of his onerous responsibility. As I enjoy a slow immersion into this world, I have chosen to educate myself about the nature of the relationship I wish to entertain with him. I can imagine him telling me that I am doing this to impress him, to please him. He would be right. He would also be wrong to forget that I am a smart, wilful individual. I am the embattled submissive. I want to tell him, reassure him, that it is not him I fantasise about, but all those ineffable qualities about him carried through by the power he so gracefully exercises over me. Sometimes, I worry that I may be trying to outsmart Master, or worse, that I am smarter, deceiving not just him, but myself as well. I am wary of reverting to my dominant disguise. I delight in wielding power that only serves to confuse and frustrate me. I am the embattled submissive, a self-saboteur. I will find myself in the role, in the man I submit to. The more I give of myself, the more.
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