Fire’s too bright.” Jeffrey scanned the countryside. “If they made it, I’m not going to be able to see them from here. We have to get past the wreck, let our eyes adjust.”“Might as well check it out.” Cyrus stood on wobbly legs and walked down the steep hill. He felt like he was going to barf. “Keep your eyes out.”“You know I will.” Jeffrey flicked his wrist, his sword unfolding. “I really want to carve this bitch up and call it a day. Maybe take a small vacation somewhere with a beach.”“Florida?” Cyrus fought a grin. Every time Jeffrey went on vacation, it was to a cozy little villa in Florida. He would pound beers all day long, starting shortly after breakfast and going until just after a big steak dinner.“Bet your ass.” Jeffrey picked his way down the rocky slope, pausing occasionally to offer Cyrus a hand. The heat from the burning car was intense, and they stayed well away from it in case it blew. Scouring the perimeter, it didn’t seem like anybody was in the car or nearby. “It is permanently stuck in my ass.”“I do not understand,” said the other.The first Arab says, “I was walking along Bloor Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in Canadian Flag attire with a white beard and cowboy hat came boiling out. He said, “I am Captain Canada, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.”I said, “No shit?”God Bless CanadaThis one is compliments of neubergerHere is one that should come with a warning to not drink or eat while reading.“As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
 fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
 went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at
 Wal-Mart. I had to.
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