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The crack in her passenger door was so wide that whenever the wind changed direction, she could feel a gusty chill sweep across her face, like a hand slapping her with bitter, unfettered cold. She tried to turn away from it, but it was intent to antagonize as it wisped across her scalp and prodded at the back of her neck like tiny needles. She checked her watch. It was 6:30 p,m. and now completely dark. The blizzard was just getting started; this much she knew because she’d heard her boss talking about it that morning while pouring his third or fourth cup of bitter black, stale coffee. S’posed to be a two-dayer, she remembered him saying. Fucking two-dayer. I will die out here and I will be frozen solid like a popsicle before someone finally comes across my stiff, dead body. A good half hour must have passed before Riley’s thoughts finally drifted away from images of the egregious funeral her tiny, tacky mother would throw. The woman was eccentric, to say the least. Everything was an. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this,.
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