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Perhaps loving her the way you love your women will break through all those walls she has needed to build. Against her father’s abuse. Against all those johns she tried to make love her, but of course never really succeeded.”“Do you think she’ll get angry at me? Fighting those demons? And would that be a good thing? Breaking down those walls? The psychiatrist couch becoming my bed?”“You think it dangerous being a layman shrink so to speak? I don’t. You’re particularly and maybe peculiarly experienced in this sort of thing. You’ve brought a lot of women out of their dark place by loving them.”“Let my love light shine,” he chuckled.They both sang the old Bobby Blue Bland song. Turn on Your Love Light.They stopped at a cheap motel near Cape Hatteras. Walked the cool, dark and rainy beach, arm in arm. The sweep of the light from the lighthouse making it that much more romantic. Returned to the funky but comfortable and clean room and made love. The squeaky bed might have kept neighbors. The only fly in the ointment, so to speak, was that the once wonderful sex we had shared together wasn't so wonderful anymore. Jan sometimes seemed to almost despise my wanting to have sex with her and it put a bit of a strain on our new marriage. I couldn't understand why, since she was already pregnant, she wasn't more receptive to me. Naturally, as a young man, I was horny all the time, and very often, when we would go to bed, I would start to make out with her, but more often than not, I would be rebuffed. The times she did have sex with me it was almost as if she would allow me do my business, then roll over and go to sleep without showing any affection. It didn't make sense at the time, but over the next few months, I began to understand why.The months seemed to come slowly, and I began to notice that Jan would get especially nervous about the time she would have to go visit Dr. John for her monthly exams. And sex was absolutely out of the question for about a week before and.
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