I’m a fucking idiot. But you know what? I have great friends who have sacrificed a lot to help me; friends who pushed me to improve myself. Friends who stuck with me through everything. And you know what? I still failed you, Jennifer. I walked away from you. I should never have done that. It was stupid and thoughtless and cruel.”She smiled for the first time today, “Yes, it was. But you fixed it! And then I wrecked everything because I was so damn scared of life! Is there any way to fix it?”“I can’t answer that question,” I said. “I’ve been beaten down by Fate so many times, I don’t even want to think about it. All you can do is what I’m doing — taking one day at a time.”“Isn’t that scary?”“Of course it is! But as I told Stephanie, we can either control our fear or be controlled by it. When we’re controlled by fear, things like Ted and Becky happen. When we control it, things like me and Birgit happen.”“So what can I do to fix us?” Jennifer asked, sounding almost desperate.“What I. I owe you!" No problem, I'm sure you will find something to do, to pay me back. What did you do to it?" I slipped on some water and hit it on the counter as I fell. It was the most painful thing ever!" she said." I'm going upstairs to change. Hope your arm recovers soon." I said.As I left the kitchen, I passed through the den and saw the camcorder. Wow, I thought, I know just how I will get her back for all those years of torment. I grabbed the camcorder and headed upstairs.After a few minutes, I heard my sister going into her room at the end of the hall by the bathroom. I walked down there with the camcorder behind my back and into her room. She was sitting on her bed cross-legged looking at a magazine."What do you want?" she said with her usual lack of charm."I just wanted to check and see how your trance was holding." At the word trance she slumped, it was perfect."Kathy sister, Go back to the last time you jacked off, I want you to relive it, showing all the feelings with your.
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